Monday, December 24, 2007

Flame Warrior Archetypes: Part 4

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I'm posting twelve more types from Mike Reed's website at http://www.dvorak.org/blog/?p=1907
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Jekyll and Hyde

As a forum participant Jekyll and Hyde always plays by the rules and is consistently cordial and helpful - a model netizen, until one day he comes completely uncorked and lashes out without warning. His unanticipated thunderbolts can temporarily rout even the sturdiest Warriors, and it often takes some time for his stunned opponents to mount a counter attack. Jekyll and Hyde's sudden behavioral change may result from a psychotic episode, PMS, a downturn in the market, a surprise visit by the in-laws - or a session of hard drinking..
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Whisper

Whisper maintains a benign demeanor and carefully avoids open conflict. When aroused, however, she will send vigorous attacks to sympathetic forum participants via private e mail in an attempt to sway the tide of battle. A typical Whisper maneuver is to "accidentally" post an ambiguously critical, but ostensibly private message to the discussion forum, e.g., "Dear Mary - see what I mean about this guy?" Or, "John - did you read what Bill said? I rest my case!" When challenged she will protest (disingenuously) that she hit the "reply" key by mistake, that the message was never intended to be read by forum participants, that the message was out of context, etc. Whisper's intent is to gain a tactical advantage by leaving the impression that her side in the conflict is gathering heavy forces just over the horizon, and though transparently obvious to veteran Warriors, this feint can often blunt a successful attack by less experienced fighters.
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Troglodyte

Troglodyte is an aggressive Philistine who categorically disdains all new-age enthusiasms and politics, and has a particular animus against "homos", "tree huggers", " hairy-leg lesbo feminists" and artsy types. His loud brandishings of "common sense" and "reason" are nothing more than conceits to justify his close mindedness. Troglodyte's fierce, but predictable attacks are easily parried by more nimble Warriors. Sometimes, just for fun, Weenie or Issues will taunt him into a towering rage.
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Tireless Rebutter

For Tireless Rebutter there is no such thing as a trivial dispute. He regards all challenges as if the barbarians were battering at the gates. His unflagging tenacity in making his points numbs and eventually wears down the opposition. Confident that his arguments are sound, Tireless Rebutter can't understand why he is universally loathed.
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Xenophobe

Xenophobe is usually a long-term discussion forum participant and he thinks of the forum as his private compound. Xenophobe regards newbies to his forum as mentally deficient and perhaps even having criminal tendencies, and they are invariably approached with suspicion and condescension. If a Newbie has the temerity to make critical observations about the forum's social dynamics, or questions prevailing opinion, Xenophobe will attempt to silence or drive out the newcomer.
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Therapist

Therapist can be a highly annoying and therefore very effective Warrior. Instead of making a frontal attack, Therapist attempts to shift the focus of the conflict to the combatants' psychological motivations and problems. He will freely speculate about other Warriors' insecurities, personalities and relationships, but he will almost never directly engage the subject of the dispute. CAUTION: Evil Clown, Imposter and Troller often masquerade as Therapist.
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Strumpet

Strumpet finds sex talk completely irresistible and constantly forwards excruciatingly unfunny and lurid jokes to the discussion forum. She always manages to sprinkle conversations with references to private parts and will never let pass without comment any mention of the words "eat," "enter," "come," "rub," etc. She disregards the women and flirts with all the men, often bragging that she has a husband or boyfriend that expertly satisfies her putatively voracious sexual appetite, but forum members....er, participants...quickly conclude no husband or boyfriend exists. Should any Warrior challenge her directly Strumpet will disparage her attacker's sexual orientation and/or penis size. CAUTION: Strumpet may be a man.
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Sycophant

Sycophant differs from Me-Too in that he is much more concerned with sucking up than he is with actually doing battle. Of course, he WILL engage in some light combat to impress Big Dog and other stronger Warriors, but he never exposes himself to unnecessary danger. Although combatants sometimes employ Sycophant to buttress an attack, his constantly shifting loyalties make him a weak and unreliable ally.
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Rottweiler Puppy

Rottweiler Puppy is clumsy, marginally articulate, unsteady in his often playful attacks, but anyone who cares to notice will see that one day he will be a fierce and powerful Big Dog. HINT: By showing some patience and kindness to Rottweiler Puppy in his formative stages prudent Warriors may gain a steadfast and formidable ally.
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Royals

Whether through virtue, contribution, force of personality or sheer longevity certain forum participants will rise to form an aristocracy. While it is generally taboo to openly acknowledge the class distinctions, the hierarchy is well understood by all. While for the most part the Royals rule with magnanimity, they will not tolerate impertinence from the hoi polloi. It is their habit to remain aloof from petty squabbles among their subjects, but when full-scale war breaks out their intervention can be decisive.
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Rat

Rat prefers to attack with private messages rather than out in the open. CAUTION: If a Warrior starts to get the better of the fight he will suddenly post out of context excerpts of his opponent's messages to the list. When taken to task for betraying private correspondence he will insist that he did it because he was being harassed or that his adversary poses a threat to other, more vulnerable Warriors, such as Innocence Abused.
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Propeller Head

Propeller Head knows just about everything there is to know about computers and the internet, and is indignant that you don't. Often an inarticulate and clumsy fighter he is still much to be feared because with a few deft keystrokes he can reduce your computer to a smoking heap of ruined metal - or at least he SAYS he can...
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