La Dolce Vita: Italian for "The Sweet Life"
Il Dolce Far Niente: Italian for "the sweetness of doing nothing"
In rediscovering both of the above phrases, I've spent some time being entertained by the Internet.
Here is a URL that readers will surely enjoy:
In particular, this site has a large collection of 'Depressionist Art' that is hilarious!
"Portrait of George W. Bush: The Global Makeover"
Jerry van Eyk
President Bush insisted that the painting of his official portrait, which would join all the others in Washington's National Portrait Gallery, fully reflect his role as a world leader. He felt that the turban was a necessity in this day and age, and he thought that the yellow facial tinting would make him more approachable to the Eastern hemisphere.
The painter van Eyk was the first Depressionist artist to be given the honor of painting the Presidential portrait, and he made it appropriately dark and somber. The "turban" is actually an old Soviet Union flag, a gift from the President's new best buddy, Vladimir Putin.
This portrait led to other Capitol Hill work for van Eyk, most notably "Rugless: the True Trent Lott," and "Senator Strom Thurmond as an Advocate Centerfold."
"Portrait, Partially Undraped Rodent" (highly magnified)
Sureart's technique, which came to be known as Pointlessism, involved the use of itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy little dots of paint applied with the aid of an electron microscope. Like so many of the great French Depressionists, he found few imitators. What other painter had the patience to work for 17 years on an individual painting such as the one displayed, especially when the completed work measures less than one square centimetre?
This is Sureart's last composition. He went completely blind near its completion and most critics believe the final dots were added by his poodle, Mitzi. The identity of the rodent is not known. From his journals we know that Sureart had difficulty finding models who could hold the same pose for over a decade, which is why he preferred cadavers.
In his later years, blind and dejected, Sureart turned to musical composition as a creative outlet, producing the "Inaudible" quintet for muffled harpsichord, and the opera "The Rest is Silence," a retelling of the Hamlet tale, which was performed only once, in 1951, by the City of Paris Deaf-Mute Conservatory.
But, this 'dearauntnettie' site has several other funny links to check out, too, like this one that lists a number of 'Flame Warrior' types.
93 Flame Warrior Types: [each with a clever description]
Jekyll and Hyde
Big Dog and Me-too
Rebel Without a Clue
Finally, a piece of advice for potential candidates from 'Aunt Nettie':
Dear Aunt Nettie:
In a recent column, you mentioned that you "should run for office." In my experience, it is a rare occasion where someone with true wisdom will devote themselves to public service. These days, it seems that the elected politicians are either bright, but in it for personal gain, or dim but sincere.... Why don't the truly brilliant sacrifice some personal wealth to serve the electorate?
-- Elective in Elmira
Well, it seems to me you've answered your own question. The smart people are in it so they can abuse the system for their own ends and the rest are deluded into thinking they can make a difference. Once the latter learn better, they become the former and run for re-election.
Anyone considering running for office should be presented with a single copy of the Federal Register and a copy of the Congressional Record. After perusing the contents they will have one of two opinions: (a) "Whoa! I can make this work for me!" or, (b) "This is the most insufferable pile of claptrap I have ever laid eyes on!"
Those of the former opinion should hire a campaign manager. Those of the latter opinion should join a commune.