Funnies?

Someone sent me these funnies recently:

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The Original Computer:

Memory was something you lost with age

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor is one who used profanity

A keyboard was a piano

A web was a spider's home

A virus was the flu

A CD was a bank account

A hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

And if you had a 3 inch floppy ...

...you just hoped nobody found out!

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Once upon a time there were three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, and they all lived together.

One night the 96-year-old ran a bath. She put one foot in and paused. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yelled.

The 94-year-old hollered back, "I don't know. I'll come and see." She started up the stairs and stopped. She shouted, "Was I going up or coming down?"

The 92-year-old sitting at the kitchen table having tea, listening to her sisters, shook her head and said, "I sure hope I never get that forgetful," and knocked on wood for good measure.

Then she yelled, "I'll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door."

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5 RIDDLES

[ANSWERS ARE AT THE BOTTOM]



1. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three rooms.
The first is full of raging fires,
the second is full of assassins with loaded guns,
and the third is full of lions that haven't eaten in 3 years.
Which room is safest for him?



2. A woman shoots her husband.
Then she holds him under water for over 5 minutes.
Finally, she hangs him.
But 5 minutes later they both go out and enjoy a wonderful dinner together.
How can this be?



3. What is black when you buy it,
red when you use it,
and gray when you throw it away ?



4. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Wednesday, Friday, or Sunday?



5. This is an unusual paragraph.
I'm curious as to just how quickly you can find out what is so unusual about it.
It looks so ordinary and plain that you would think nothing was wrong with it.
In fact, nothing is wrong with it!
It is highly unusual though.
Study it and think about it, but you still may not find anything odd.
But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.
Try to do so without any coaching!



ANSWERS TO THE FIVE RIDDLES ARE BELOW:






1 The third room. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.
That one was easy, right?

2. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband, developed it, and hung it up to dry (shot; held under water; and hung).

3. Charcoal, as it is used in barbecuing.

4. Sure you can name three consecutive days;
yesterday, today, and tomorrow!

5. The letter e, which is the most common letter used in the English language, does not appear even once in the paragraph.

how did you do?


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