Wednesday, July 29, 2009
“The difference between 'involvement' and 'commitment' is like an eggs-and-ham breakfast: the chicken was 'involved' - the pig was 'committed'.”
- Martina Navratilova
“Always remember, a cat looks down on man, a dog looks up to man, but a pig will look man right in the eye and see his equal.” - Winston Churchill
“Well-being and happiness never appeared to me as an absolute aim. I am even inclined to compare such moral aims to the ambitions of a pig.”
- Albert Einstein
“You should never try and teach a pig to read for two reasons. First, it's impossible; and secondly, it annoys the hell out of the pig!” - Will Rogers
Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
- Ambrose Bierce
I learned long ago, never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and besides, the pig likes it. - George Bernard Shaw
The Famous Pig
Some time ago a farmer in Iowa owned a pig that became famous for its unusual and repeated acts of heroism.
Time after time, this pig made headlines, which the farmer duly recorded in a scrapbook for future reference.
Acts with which the pig is credited include the following examples, which is by no means a complete list:
• waking the farmer and his family at night when the barn caught fire and threatened not only the livestock, but the farmhouse as well.
• scaring off burglars while the farmer was away with repeated loud squealing.
• herding back to the corral calves and lambs that escaped and were wandering off.
• finding a lost toddler in the corn field.
• winning the top 4-H award for best pig.
• alerting the authorities through the farmer , of a hot-air balloon that had crashed nearby.
• guiding the kids home from the school bus stop through the snow.
• rooting through the mud to find the farmer's wife's lost wedding ring.
• and on and on, sometimes even repeating some of these acts multiple times.
You get the idea, this was not only a famous pig, but a VERY special one indeed!
One day, a renowned reporter arrived to research the various reports of the pig's heroism and write a human interest feature article for a leading magazine.
The farmer and his family welcomed the reporter with their usual hospitality and regaled him with endless stories and first-hand accounts of their pig's good deeds, and gave him copies of those scrapbook entries that he felt were particularly newsworthy.
Finally, the reporter had had enough information and asked to see the famous pig.
The farmer took him to the pig pen, where a number of pigs, large and small, were rooting and resting in the mud and dirt.
At first glance, the reporter thought none of the pigs looked particularly heroic, or even pig-handsome for that matter, and he really couldn't tell which was the famous pig, until the farmer called 'Famous' to come over.
Immediately, a good-sized,- but otherwise nondescript- pig got up and obediently made its way toward the reporter.
But something seemed amiss, because the famous pig walked with a slight limp.
Then, the reporter noticed that this pig had only three legs; a hind leg was missing.
Now, since that seemed to be the angle the reporter was looking for, he commented to the farmer that it really was unusual for this pig, known for all its acts of heroism, to only have three legs!
To which the farmer the farmer replied that Famous used to have four legs, but a pig that good you don't want to eat all at one time.
Sorry you read this far?
Maybe the heat made me do it.
But, hey, give me a better one and I might use it.
These are bagpipes. I understand the inventor of the bagpipes was inspired when he saw a man carrying an indignant, asthmatic pig under his arm. Unfortunately, the man-made sound never equalled the purity of the sound achieved by the pig.
- Alfred Hitchcock
“'When you wake up in the morning, Pooh,' said Piglet at last, 'what's the first thing you say to yourself?' 'What's for breakfast?' said Pooh. 'What do you say, Piglet?' 'I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?' said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. 'It's the same thing,' he said.” - A. A. Milne, The House at Pooh Corner